4th Day Back on Paxil
Tuesday, July 11th, 2000 (continued).
Today’s my 4th day back on the Paxil and all of my withdrawal symptoms are gone completely.
I’ve been writing a lot. I don’t know what that means, but I’m not complaining because I love writing. I’m still feeling tired like I could use a cup of coffee every half hour — but I’m not drinking any caffeine or anything at all that I could experience withdrawal from; I’ve been on that boat and I’m never jumping back on, I don’t care how big or small it is.
I feel somewhat depressed (or maybe I’m just still upset and shaken from the trauma of the withdrawal), but I’m going to get moving today regardless.
I’ve had to fight off the sleepiness I’ve experienced since going back on the Paxil (with — never forget — the intention of weaning myself off it once things have settled back to normal). I had to fight off the sleepiness during the day so I’d be tired at night and get my rhythms back on track. It seems to be working.
I’m still sleeping-in about two hours longer than I’d like, but things are getting better.
Postscript - February 3rd, 2001: I mentioned in this post and a previous post that I would never again drink coffee or anything that could cause withdrawal — and I’ve stuck to it. In December 2000, I did have one extremely bad week where I bought a pack of cigarettes and smoked them all in about two days flat, but except for that, I haven’t smoked dope or any kind of cigarette, I haven’t had coffee or tea or caffeine of any kind except for an occasional Coke, and I’ve completely lost my taste for alcohol. It was one hell of an adjustment to make, but I haven’t a doubt that I’m healthier now and better off for it.
P.S. (Sept. 2006): Well, it was nice while it lasted. I don’t smoke cigarettes anymore, but I do drink coffee every day, and I do have a beer every now and then. For a while after I got off the Paxil, I removed processed sugar, caffeine and alcohol from my diet, and I took vitamin supplements. If it’s a lifestyle you can stick with, good for you. A good deal of what makes people feel depressed is related to lifestyle — what we do every day, what we eat every day. Changing how you live life isn’t something most of us do easily. Eventually I stopped taking vitamin supplements and didn’t notice any ill-effects. I try to get 6-8 hours of sleep every night, I eat well and exercise whenever I can, and I’m feeling pretty good. After I got off the Paxil, my system was super sensitive to everything. When I ate junk food, I felt like crap. When I ate healthy food, I felt better. It was that simple.