Paxil Free

Sunday, November 24th, 2000 (24th day of Paxil).

Sarah wrote:

I have been off Paxil for 10 months now, and I still get very upset for no reason. I would assume most people don’t after getting off Paxil, but I do! I had a very, very hard time getting off Paxil, and I never wish to go through that again.

Paxil changed my whole personality when I was taking it, but when I got off Paxil, I found it very hard to find the personality that I once had.

Through reports and research that I have done on Paxil, this seems to be a common factor. They don’t know why or how. But I will tell you, and you probably already know, Glaxo SmithKline has yet to accept any responsibility. Through reading and studying about Paxil, there seems to be many changes in personality that do take place. Read Medscape on the internet for any update information. It is a very informative database.

They have definitely proved that it is addictive, and it is like Dr. Breggins says,”You don’t know what these types of drugs are doing to your brain,” and it does not look very promising.

To this day, I still think Paxil affects me. After I went through withdrawal from Paxil, and I mean the withdrawal from hell, I felt quite good, but as time went on, I starting feeling weird, and different, like the problems associated with Paxil are forever here to stay.

I could say maybe I just need a little bit longer, but to be quite honest, I’m not convinced that Paxil did not do anything to my brain. I do believe it at least partially destroyed the serotonin site of the brain. I really think I lost the ability to release the serotonin I need, which plays a big part in your emotions.

The things I could tell you about Paxil would blow your mind. This drug is not magical. It is really a destructive drug! I would tell everybody not to take it, and of course I have studied so much about it, that now people are starting to ask me about the drug, and what problems it causes.

Paxil can get you to the point that you just can’t think right.

If only I could emphasize how bad it really was, I would do everything in my power to do so.

My doctor now, who took me off Paxil, knew the dangers of Paxil when it first came out, and I think it was 1992. He noticed a pattern among his clients that were taking Paxil, was not pleased with the results, and he stopped prescribing it. He tried to tell doctors, but they thought they knew it all.

Now though, since I came back, I got off Paxil successfully with my doctor’s help. Thank goodness for doctors who pay attention! My doctor has asked me to explain to other doctors, PhDs and counsellors with their Masters, about the dangers of Paxil, and why it should not be prescribed, and you would be amazed at what these so-called educated people don’t know. When I talk to them, I honestly have to explain what I mean, regarding Paxil. I was totally amazed! They have no idea of what Paxil can do.

Well, sorry about the long explanation, but yes, with Paxil, and after Paxil, I can get very angry. I am just not myself anymore.

In response, I wrote:

I can definitely relate to the anger situation. It didn’t kick in for me until I got down to around 5mg, but when it did I felt like I was about to kill anyone who tried to have a conversation with me. This lasted for about a week, and during that week I stayed away from people completely. Though most of that anger has passed, my tolerance for listening to certain opinions seems to be zero. I’m not as patient as I used to be.

I’ve been completely off the Paxil for about two weeks now (approximately two weeks; could be more, could be less; my sense of time is a bit out of whack). The closer I got to being completely off the Paxil, the more positive reactions I had. My sex drive (and endurance) suddenly reappeared — it was like I was in my teens again; intellectually I became more alive, reading and writing and with great bursts of energy; I began to feel more relaxed, more myself. All kinds of good stuff like that. I was still experiencing pretty bad withdrawal, but the moments of clarity were amazing and rejuvenating.

Since I’ve been off the Paxil completely, my withdrawal symptoms have not disappeared (digestive problems, sleeping problems, electrical sensations connected to my eyes, etc.), but they have gradually dissipated. I haven’t had a brain zap for two days now, although I am still a little wary of them.

I’ve heard other people talk about how they return to normal and feel ten times better once they get off the Paxil. I certainly had a few glimpses of that, but right now I wouldn’t say that’s how I’m feeling. Sex drive, intellectual vitality — all that stuff seems to have taken a back seat to what I’m going through now.

The last few weeks have been extremely emotional for me. And now, instead of experiencing some sort of rapture from having gotten through all this, if you asked me what I’m feeling, I would say I’m feeling nothing. The only thing I can think of is that I’m emotionally spent; I’m all used up, and I just don’t have the energy to feel emotional about anything. (Or maybe I’ve got one last motherload of anger and grief to let loose, and I just don’t want to be around for it.)

That, or I’m afraid to let myself feel… relaxed again. Like I can’t believe it’s over. It’s as if I’m afraid to let my guard down, to really let myself say, “It’s over.”

The other conclusion could be that I’m depressed again, but I don’t think so. I think I’ve been through a prolonged traumatic experience in trying to get off the Paxil, and even with the Paxil out of my system, psychologically, it’s left a mark on me. I’d like to say it hasn’t, but it has. I would like to jump up and down with joy, yelling out, “I made it!” But I can’t seem to let myself do that.

I’m not sure about any of this though.

I would like to hear from others who, even if your experience isn’t the same as mine, have gotten through this stage of withdrawal, or post-withdrawal…

Second response:

Boy, I couldn’t agree with you more. I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I will never be the same after taking this drug. Thank you for telling it like it is. The more research I do, the more freaked out I get about what this shit may have done to my brain. Don’t expect GlaxoSmithKline to own up to any of this; after all, they’re the ones who said it was not addictive. I know one person who took Paxil shortly after it came out. She was a zombie while on it, and went completely ballistic trying to get off. Years later, I realized that this person had changed dramatically, and not for the better. Getting off this drug is only half the battle. The other half is reclaiming the lives we had before Paxil.