Paxil Free

March 13th, 2001. (Basic Facts – continued)

Most doctors are completely ignorant as to the withdrawal effects of paroxetine (not that that ever stops them from prescribing these pills as if they were as harmless as Tic-Tacs). My doctor told me, “The great thing about Paxil is that you can stop taking it cold turkey.” It doesn’t get any more ignorant than that.

Chances are you wouldn’t be reading this right now if it wasn’t for your doctor’s ignorance and/or arrogance.

When my doctor told me that I didn’t have to wean myself off the Paxil — this was his trusted medical advice — he was relaying to me information from

“the year 2000 edition of the Compendium of Pharmaceuticals and Specialties [the CPS] which is the information source most widely used by physicians in Canada.”

That’s a quote from an email my doctor sent me, and the italics are mine. (The U.S. equivalent of the CPS is the PDR or the Physicians’ Desk Reference.)

Unfortunately, the information on paroxetine withdrawal which appears in the CPS is based on fraudulent data provided by GlaxoSmithKline, the company that manufactures Paxil.
Read more

March 15th, 2001. (Basic Facts – continued)

If Paxil saved your life, that’s wonderful. But please spare me the hate mail telling me what a jerk I am for giving Paxil such a bad rap. I have no desire to extinguish anyone’s neurochemical happiness. But I do not and will not hide the fact that I am angry about the injustice that I and thousands of others have experienced because of the fraudulent and unethical practices of GlaxoSmithKline — the practices that have left the medical community mis-informed and uninformed as to the full and potential effects of paroxetine withdrawal.

In order to make their $2,000,000,000-plus every year off this drug, GlaxoSmithKline, by not being upfront about the potential effects of paroxetine, lied to the FDA to get approval for Paxil and then continued to perpetuate that lie by hiding the information they had about the full effects of Paxil withdrawal from the medical community.

(Oct. 2006: Here it is five years later, and the wonderful people at GlaxoSmithKline are still up to no good. They are making so much money off Paxil, they can afford to pay hundreds of millions of dollars in fines and still make a profiit. An informative article in The Scoop reads: “A limited review of the company’s involvement in the legal system over just the last five years reveals a clear pattern of habitual corruption. However, although Glaxo has paid billions of dollars in accumulated fines, penalties and awards to plaintiffs in civil cases, not one company official has been arrested and charged with a crime.” The power of a corporation like GSK is incredible. Making billions of dollars every year off Paxil allows them to get away with murder. They can afford it.)

When I first took Paxil, it did help. But when the time came to stop taking it, I suffered through the worst hell of my life — and all of it could have been prevented had GlaxoSmithKline told the truth from the start.
Read more

Friday, July 7th, 2000 (continued).

This is an email message I wrote to a professional counsellor I was seeing this past year (just wrote it today).

I went through some traumatic events this past year that eventually led to my taking 20mg of Paxil every day. The Paxil helped get me through the year. After I got my life back on track, I decided I didn’t want to be on the Paxil anymore (I didn’t want to be on it in the first place, but I was completely desperate at the time, and it did work well for me). So my doctor, who has been a good doctor for me and who I trust, said I could stop taking the Paxil cold turkey. He said I might have mild nausea, headaches, a little dizziness for a couple days, but that it would go away. (How many of you are laughing at that sentence?)

About six days ago, I stopped taking the Paxil. And for the past three days I’ve been barely functional. For the past 72 hours I’ve experienced these wonderfully debilitating electrical surges in my brain every time I move my eyes. (Try going through a day without moving your eyes.) I feel like I’m losing my mind.
Read more

Wednesday, October 18th, 2000. Responding to something, though I don’t remember what:

Paxil should be an absolute last resort. Communicative therapy (a.k.a. talking) should be tried first. Then there are dietary changes that can make a difference to all kinds of anxiety. You can take vitamin supplements like B-complex to begin with. If you drink caffeine, stop now. Alcohol and cigarettes don’t help with anxiety either (but if you smoke, don’t try quitting while you’re trying to quit something else; trying to quit two things at once will wreck anyone). Making sure to get daily moderate exercise can make a difference. Try a herbal remedy. Listen to good music. Breathe fresh air. Get out in the sunshine.

Speaking from experience, these are basic things that can make a huge difference.

But it’s easier to pop a little pink pill than it is to actually make any real effort to take care of oneself (hence, we have close to two billion dollars in sales of Paxil last year).

It’s easier to take a pill than it is to actually face the fears underlying the social anxiety.

No offense to anyone suffering from panic disorder, but “social anxiety” sound like another made-up term by drug companies. I’ve been shy my whole life. I know what it’s like to be anxious around people and or large crowds. But that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with me. I consider it a natural reaction to the madness of crowds.
Read more

Wednesday, October 18th, 2000 (continued).

Doug said to a previous message:

This is an excellent response. I agree. However, I must state that I took Paxil for almost 3 years and it seemingly worked wonders for me… for a while.

The people I know personally (not through email or through paxilprogress.org) who took Paxil for extreme anxiety and panic attacks — every single one of them ended up taking on that “sedated” look I mentioned before. And there’s no way that can be good. All of them say they couldn’t live without Paxil, regardless of the weight gain and the sexual dysfunction it causes them. But neither have any of them done anything else except take Paxil to take care of themselves. They’re still living off coffee and cigarettes like they’ve always done. So, in a way, they got what they deserved. Nothing gets better in the absence of a willingness to change. Taking a little pink pill only delays the inevitable.

The calm that Paxil may provide can offer one the opportunity to work on the anxiety, but the anxiety will come back if one doesn’t actually work on it. This is something I see happening with many people, as well as having lived through it myself. It doesn’t take much to figure this one out.

I agree with you that Paxil can and often does make a difference at first. I have no doubt about it that Paxil did help me at one point; it helped me get through an extreme crisis situation, extreme stress, extreme anxiety, all during a time when my coping skills were not so good. For the duration I was on Paxil, I did everything I could to get my act together — and now, except for the anxiety related to the withdrawal, I do have it together (I hope). When I think of how I was, say two years ago, I am amazed at how far I’ve come, how effectively I deal with anxiety and stressful situations when they come up. I’m not 100% all the time, but who the hell is? (Nobody.)
Read more

Sunday, November 24th, 2000 (24th day of Paxil).

Sarah wrote:

I have been off Paxil for 10 months now, and I still get very upset for no reason. I would assume most people don’t after getting off Paxil, but I do! I had a very, very hard time getting off Paxil, and I never wish to go through that again.

Paxil changed my whole personality when I was taking it, but when I got off Paxil, I found it very hard to find the personality that I once had.

Through reports and research that I have done on Paxil, this seems to be a common factor. They don’t know why or how. But I will tell you, and you probably already know, Glaxo SmithKline has yet to accept any responsibility. Through reading and studying about Paxil, there seems to be many changes in personality that do take place. Read Medscape on the internet for any update information. It is a very informative database.
Read more

Tuesday, November 28th, 2000 (28th day off Paxil). In response to a message on paxilprogress.org:

I don’t think the paresthesia/electrical sensations in my eyes and my head are caused by anxiety and stress. I had plenty of anxiety and stress before I went on and subsequently tried to get off Paxil, and it’s NEVER felt like this. I have had tension headaches in the past, but what I’m experiencing now is something completely different altogether.

The zaps are the cause of the anxiety and stress, not the other way around.

This isn’t an argument to me. It’s a statement of fact. I tried getting off the Paxil and immediately, for the first time in my life, began experiencing the brain zaps. This is the most obvious, simple, straight forward equation. It’s a neurochemical reaction that’s happening in my brain because of this drug. If I’m feeling any anxiety, depression or stress, 95% of it is coming from this experience of trying to get off this drug.

Overall, I have been physically and mentally healthy my whole life. My doctor keeps asking me, referring to the brain zaps and the electrical heaviness in my eyes, “Are you sure you’ve never experienced anything like this before?” I’ve never taken an anti-depressant before Paxil, I’ve never “experimented” with LSD, cocaine or anything stronger than pot, and when I did, I was never a dopehead. I’ve never been an alcoholic. I don’t have a history of this sort of thing. I have no doubt that these electrical sensations in my head are caused by the Paxil.

I wasn’t feeling any stress or anxiety until I tried getting off the Paxil, and what I’m experiencing now is not due to any pre-existing condition that I know of. I may be feeling depressed, and I may be experiencing some anxiety — but my brain goes into an electrical seizure every time I move too suddenly or move my eyes too fast or have any kind of bright light shone in my face. Is not a little stress and anxiety a normal reaction to such a disturbing experience? I’d say it is. (Some people may say to this, “Get over it. ” But I’ll get over it once it stops.)
Read more

Friday, December 1st, 2000 (31st day off Paxil). Responding to a comment on paxilprogress.org:

I was in complete control of my weaning off Paxil. My doctor was only there to supervise the process and to give me a prescription of Xanax when I needed it. He suggested I go down by 10mg, but I said no way. I had tried it cold turkey and it nearly killed me, and I knew whatever I did, I wasn’t going to rush it. So I went down by 5mg every two weeks or so, and it was a relatively smooth ride.

If your doctor had you go down by 10mg at a time, it’s probably because the “current medical literature” suggests that he do so. In other words, he’s just reading out of book. The book says do this and he does what the book tells him to do. But, unfortunately, those books don’t take into account individual variations — the fact that everyone is different.

Personally, I think a 10mg drop is always too much. It’s a guaranteed rough ride if you ask me.

If you just got down to zero after being at 10mg and you’re feeling dizzy, etc., I’d take 5mg for awhile, until you feel ready to go down to zero.

When I got down to zero, which was a few weeks ago now, many of the symptoms lingered, especially the dizziness and the electrical sensations. On the two or three days in which I couldn’t hack it, despite the Xanax, I took a tiny little piece of Paxil, and it helped. I’m sure I could have roughed it out, but allowing myself to take just a little bit made the journey a little more bearable. At no time did I go back to taking the Paxil every day, or become dependent on it again, and now that I’m completely off it, the road is still a bit rough, but I’m a thousand times better off now than when I was withdrawing from the Paxil.

Your doctor didn’t lower your dosage to 5mg probably, first of all, because GlaxoSmithKline doesn’t officially make a 5mg pill, which, in your doctor’s mind (and the minds of many other doctors) means that 5mg isn’t a therapeutic dose. So it probably doesn’t even enter his mind to prescribe 5mg daily. Secondly, your doctor most likely just doesn’t know any better.

If you think you should be on 5mg before going down to zero, do it.

Wednesday, December 6th, 2000 (continued).

Someone said:

“Do you think how one gets off Paxil depends on why one went on it in the first place? Like if someone went on it for bad depression as opposed to someone (like me) who went on it for other reasons than depression? Maybe that is why it was easier for me to get off it?”

You’re probably right. The longer you were taking it probably makes it harder to get off it too.

Also, I’m not sure about this one, but anyone who manages to wean themselves off the Paxil slowly is, perhaps, less likely to have a rough ride — as opposed to someone who found out the hard way by trying to get off Paxil cold turkey and ended up having go back on it and start all over again.

I followed my doctor’s orders and stopped taking the Paxil cold turkey and went through a week of pure hell. I think that experience was such a shock to my brain and my neurochemistry that my nervous system has never fully recovered and, subsequently, the weaning process has been more harsh for me than it would have otherwise been.
Read more

Friday, December 8th, 2000 (38th day off Paxil).

From Joe:

I took 20mg of Paxil for three years for panic anxiety disorder. I only had a few weeks of side effects at first (nausea, vivid dreams, and then of course the sexual side effects), but then it was great. Not obsessing about things, everything was brought into a healthy perspective. However, as time went on I started not to care about anything. It went too far — a real flat effect, chronically fatigued and, of course, the worst for me, I gained 45 pounds.

I had no idea about the withdrawal. The drug company, GlaxoSmithKline, does not warn you about that. If I would miss a pill, I noticed I couldn’t even turn my head, my eyes wouldn’t follow — it was awful. I couldn’t wait until my next “hit” of the drug, and then guess what? — all the symptoms would disappear. (I should have known my body was addicted then, but on Paxil you just go through life not giving a damn about anything, so who cared?)

I think the longer you are on it, the worst these symptoms are. Coming off has been very rough. It has taken me since September to get to 3mg a day. I usually tell people who visit paxilprogress.org that at least you know somewhat ahead of time what to expect. I knew nothing but what my MD and pharmacist told me: “It’s a safe, nonaddictive drug. You won’t gain weight. It won’t effect your blood pressure.” (I’m hypertensive.) All proved not to be true.

Having said all that, however, if you are having trouble with depression, anxiety, panic etc., and it’s acute right now, paroxetine can help you to get relief from those symptoms and to lead a normal life for a time. And when it’s time to go off, just wean slowly. This gives the poor brain a better chance to adjust to “life without Paxil.” Good luck.

Monday, May 14th, 2001.

Alice wrote:

I was wondering, is it possible that going off 30mg of Paxil cold turkey may have affected me neurologically?

My response:

Yes, it may have affected you neurologically, and I often wonder the same thing, whether my cold turkey experience caused permanent neurological damage. And, despite my optimism at times, I don’t really know the answer to that question.

I have been off Paxil since November, but I am still feeling the effects of the withdrawal. Maybe the cold turkey withdrawal did cause permanent damage of some kind. I’m not sure. I can only wait and see how things go. My body and my mind have gradually been readjusting to being Paxil-free, but, for me, the adjustment is still going on, so I’m not able to say how permanent any of the damage is yet.

I can’t judge my level of anxiety or my mental state too well right now either because there’s nothing about my present situation which is socially normal. In February I tried to get back into the real world and find a job, etc., but I got hit with extremely bad headaches for a month before I finally had to come back to where I am now, out in the middle of nowhere, sitting around doing nothing, feeling useless.

My problem hasn’t been anxiety, per se. What I’ve been experiencing is extreme muscle tension, especially in my head and neck, but not exclusive to my head and neck. If you know how to crack your knuckles — my whole body makes that sound. I’ve tried to describe this before, but I’m afraid of sounding like some guy who wears a tinfoil hat to keep the alien signals from penetrating his brain through the fillings in his teeth. When I describe this stuff, it seems as crazy to me as it does to anyone else. But imagine the sound of your knuckles cracking. I get that around my head. My head feels like it’s filled with wet cement. It’s not like the electrical shock sensations, but it’s not much better either.
Read more

May 29th and July 26th, 2001.

I want to talk about the common thread which I think is apparent in the experiences of everyone who has been through paroxetine withdrawal; and, in big bold letters, that common thread is THE FEELING OF BEING CUT OFF FROM THE WORLD. Often it’s not just a feeling; it’s a reality. There are plenty of other crappy things I could single out, things others may consider more important issues, but for me, this is the big one because I’m still working on it; it’s the one which I think causes the most damage and requires the most healing.

Oliver Sacks addresses this in his book, Awakenings (1990 edition), when he describes how a disease can consume a person’s life, consume all of their energy and attention for such a long period of time that (from page 240): “they feel, on the one hand, cut-off or withdrawn from the world, on the other hand immersed, or engrossed, in their illness,” a feeling which I’m sure anyone living with paroxetine withdrawal can relate to. Then he goes on to speak about the ‘awakening,’ or the recovery, in which one ceases to feel the presence of the dis-ease, but is instead naturally drawn towards and engaged by the presence of everything in the living world around them.

It’s been just over a year since my initial withdrawal experience and I wish I could say that I no longer feel the presence of this disease, but I can’t. (Paroxetine withdrawal, and post-withdrawal, is a dis-ease. I’d love to meet someone going through withdrawal who’s sitting back at ease with all of it.) It is less present than it used to be for me, but, along with other symptoms which I am too sick and tired of to describe in detail, I have chronic pain (as in all the time) which disrupts the relaxed flow of my thoughts and feelings and kind of takes the fun out of things; it gets to me at times. It is this cognitive disruption, one which seems physiological in origin, that interferes with my fully feeling the presence of the world around me like I used to, of my fully being able to be myself. I’ve been trying to “walk it off” all this time, but I can’t.

Throughout my Paxil Experience I’ve had people full of good intentions pass on to me the age-old advice, “Don’t dwell on what’s happening to you. Just go outside and enjoy the sunshine and the simple things. You’ll feel a whole lot better.” That’s a simple solution that works, and I know it works because I’ve lived by it for many years — but it works for people who have their health, not for someone who feels like they’ve been hit in the head with an aluminum bat from the withdrawal seizures and the constant headaches and body aches. Let’s crack one of these good-intentioned people across the head with a two-by-four and then tell them not to focus on the pain (impossible); tell them to go out for a leisurely walk while their head is pulsing with pain and enjoy the sunshine which will surely make them feel so much better. Maybe then they’ll realize how misplaced and absurd some of that age-old wisdom can be, especially when it comes from people who don’t have the experience to back it up.
Read more