<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<rss version="2.0"
	xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/"
	xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/"
	xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/"
	xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom"
	xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/"
	xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/"
	>

<channel>
	<title>Paxil Free &#187; Sleep &#8211; Insomnia</title>
	<atom:link href="http://paxilfree.org/category/sleep/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />
	<link>http://paxilfree.org</link>
	<description>A personal record of Paxil withdrawal.</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Thu, 10 Jun 2010 13:11:01 +0000</lastBuildDate>
	<generator>http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2</generator>
	<language>en</language>
	<sy:updatePeriod>hourly</sy:updatePeriod>
	<sy:updateFrequency>1</sy:updateFrequency>
			<item>
		<title>Bursts of Anger (Day 79)</title>
		<link>http://paxilfree.org/bursts-of-anger-day-79/</link>
		<comments>http://paxilfree.org/bursts-of-anger-day-79/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 26 Sep 2006 16:55:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Anger - Irritability - Frustration]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Cold turkey]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Digestive problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Electrical surges - The Zaps - Seizures]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Emotional sensitivity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[GlaxoSmithKline]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[My withdrawal (Part 3: Off Paxil)]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sexual dysfunction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sleep - Insomnia]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Verbal / Cognitive difficulties - Concentration]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://paxilfree.org/bursts-of-anger-day-79/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Sunday, November 24th, 2000 (24th day of Paxil).
Sarah wrote:
I have been off Paxil for 10 months now, and I still get very upset for no reason. I would assume most people don&#8217;t after getting off Paxil, but I do! I had a very, very hard time getting off Paxil, and I never wish to go [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong>Sunday, November 24th, 2000 (24th day of Paxil).</strong></p>
<p><strong>Sarah wrote:</strong></p>
<blockquote><p>I have been off Paxil for 10 months now, and I still get very upset for no reason. I would assume most people don&#8217;t after getting off Paxil, but I do! I had a very, very hard time getting off Paxil, and I never wish to go through that again.</p>
<p>Paxil changed my whole personality when I was taking it, but when I got off Paxil, I found it very hard to find the personality that I once had.</p>
<p>Through reports and research that I have done on Paxil, this seems to be a common factor. They don&#8217;t know why or how. But I will tell you, and you probably already know, Glaxo SmithKline has yet to accept any responsibility. Through reading and studying about Paxil, there seems to be many changes in personality that do take place. Read <a href="http://www.medscape.com/home">Medscape</a> on the internet for any update information. It is a very informative database.<br />
<span id="more-78"></span></p>
<p>They have definitely proved that it is addictive, and it is like <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Breggin">Dr. Breggins</a> says,&#8221;You don&#8217;t know what these types of drugs are doing to your brain,&#8221; and it does not look very promising.</p>
<p>To this day, I still think Paxil affects me. After I went through withdrawal from Paxil, and I mean the withdrawal from hell, I felt quite good, but as time went on, I starting feeling weird, and different, like the problems associated with Paxil are forever here to stay.</p>
<p>I could say maybe I just need a little bit longer, but to be quite honest, I&#8217;m not convinced that Paxil did not do anything to my brain. I do believe it at least partially destroyed the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serotonin">serotonin</a> site of the brain. I really think I lost the ability to release the serotonin I need, which plays a big part in your emotions.</p>
<p>The things I could tell you about Paxil would blow your mind. This drug is not magical. It is really a destructive drug! I would tell everybody not to take it, and of course I have studied so much about it, that now people are starting to ask me about the drug, and what problems it causes.</p>
<p>Paxil can get you to the point that you just can&#8217;t think right.</p>
<p>If only I could emphasize how bad it really was, I would do everything in my power to do so.</p>
<p>My doctor now, who took me off Paxil, knew the dangers of Paxil when it first came out, and I think it was 1992. He noticed a pattern among his clients that were taking Paxil, was not pleased with the results, and he stopped prescribing it. He tried to tell doctors, but they thought they knew it all.</p>
<p>Now though, since I came back, I got off Paxil successfully with my doctor&#8217;s help. Thank goodness for doctors who pay attention! My doctor has asked me to explain to other doctors, PhDs and counsellors with their Masters, about the dangers of Paxil, and why it should not be prescribed, and you would be amazed at what these so-called educated people don&#8217;t know. When I talk to them, I honestly have to explain what I mean, regarding Paxil. I was totally amazed! They have no idea of what Paxil can do.</p>
<p>Well, sorry about the long explanation, but yes, with Paxil, and after Paxil, I can get very angry. I am just not myself anymore.</p></blockquote>
<p><strong>In response, I wrote:</strong></p>
<p>I can definitely relate to the anger situation. It didn&#8217;t kick in for me until I got down to around 5mg, but when it did I felt like I was about to kill anyone who tried to have a conversation with me. This lasted for about a week, and during that week I stayed away from people completely. Though most of that anger has passed, my tolerance for listening to certain opinions seems to be zero. I&#8217;m not as patient as I used to be.</p>
<p>I&#8217;ve been completely off the Paxil for about two weeks now (approximately two weeks; could be more, could be less; my sense of time is a bit out of whack). The closer I got to being completely off the Paxil, the more positive reactions I had. My sex drive (and endurance) suddenly reappeared &#8212; it was like I was in my teens again; intellectually I became more alive, reading and writing and with great bursts of energy; I began to feel more relaxed, more myself. All kinds of good stuff like that. I was still experiencing pretty bad withdrawal, but the moments of clarity were amazing and rejuvenating.</p>
<p>Since I&#8217;ve been off the Paxil completely, my withdrawal symptoms have not disappeared (digestive problems, sleeping problems, electrical sensations connected to my eyes, etc.), but they have gradually dissipated. I haven&#8217;t had a brain zap for two days now, although I am still a little wary of them.</p>
<p>I&#8217;ve heard other people talk about how they return to normal and feel ten times better once they get off the Paxil. I certainly had a few glimpses of that, but right now I wouldn&#8217;t say that&#8217;s how I&#8217;m feeling. Sex drive, intellectual vitality &#8212; all that stuff seems to have taken a back seat to what I&#8217;m going through now.</p>
<p>The last few weeks have been extremely emotional for me. And now, instead of experiencing some sort of rapture from having gotten through all this, if you asked me what I&#8217;m feeling, I would say I&#8217;m feeling nothing. The only thing I can think of is that I&#8217;m emotionally spent; I&#8217;m all used up, and I just don&#8217;t have the energy to feel emotional about anything. (Or maybe I&#8217;ve got one last motherload of anger and grief to let loose, and I just don&#8217;t want to be around for it.)</p>
<p>That, or I&#8217;m afraid to let myself feel&#8230; relaxed again. Like I can&#8217;t believe it&#8217;s over. It&#8217;s as if I&#8217;m afraid to let my guard down, to really let myself say, &#8220;It&#8217;s over.&#8221;</p>
<p>The other conclusion could be that I&#8217;m depressed again, but I don&#8217;t think so. I think I&#8217;ve been through a prolonged traumatic experience in trying to get off the Paxil, and even with the Paxil out of my system, psychologically, it&#8217;s left a mark on me. I&#8217;d like to say it hasn&#8217;t, but it has. I would like to jump up and down with joy, yelling out, &#8220;I made it!&#8221; But I can&#8217;t seem to let myself do that.</p>
<p>I&#8217;m not sure about any of this though.</p>
<p>I would like to hear from others who, even if your experience isn&#8217;t the same as mine, have gotten through this stage of withdrawal, or post-withdrawal&#8230;</p>
<p><strong>Second response:</strong></p>
<blockquote><p>Boy, I couldn&#8217;t agree with you more. I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I will never be the same after taking this drug. Thank you for telling it like it is. The more research I do, the more freaked out I get about what this shit may have done to my brain. Don&#8217;t expect <a href="/3-glaxosmithkline-and-the-ignorance-of-doctors/">GlaxoSmithKline</a> to own up to any of this; after all, they&#8217;re the ones who said it was not addictive. I know one person who took Paxil shortly after it came out. She was a zombie while on it, and went completely ballistic trying to get off. Years later, I realized that this person had changed dramatically, and not for the better. Getting off this drug is only half the battle. The other half is reclaiming the lives we had before Paxil.</p></blockquote>
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://paxilfree.org/bursts-of-anger-day-79/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Day 53: Feeling Better</title>
		<link>http://paxilfree.org/day-53-feeling-better/</link>
		<comments>http://paxilfree.org/day-53-feeling-better/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 19 Sep 2006 00:20:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Dizziness - Vertigo]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Electrical surges - The Zaps - Seizures]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Feeling better - A good day]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[My withdrawal (Part 2: Weaning)]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sleep - Insomnia]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Suicidal feelings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Vision / Eye Problems - Ocular pressure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Vitamin supplements and herbal remedies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Xanax (Alprazolam)]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://paxilfree.org/2006/09/18/day-53-feeling-better/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Monday, October 30th, 2000. A journal entry:
I&#8217;m feeling better today. I was going to say much better, but that&#8217;s probably pushing it. I got up at 7:30 this morning to help a friend move some things into a new office. I haven&#8217;t been sleeping lately, so I was expecting to be tired, grumpy and out [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong>Monday, October 30th, 2000.</strong> <em>A journal entry:</em></p>
<p>I&#8217;m feeling better today. I was going to say much better, but that&#8217;s probably pushing it. I got up at 7:30 this morning to help a friend move some things into a new office. I haven&#8217;t been sleeping lately, so I was expecting to be tired, grumpy and out of sorts when I got up, and I was. Never too hungry that early in the morning, I had a slice of toast with honey, my usual handful of vitamin supplements, a bottle of water and off I went &#8212; hit the road in the pickup truck (someone else driving).</p>
<p>I immediately got dizzy and off balance lifting things and walking up and down the stairs. I wasn&#8217;t long popping my first <a href="/day-23-weaning-and-xanax/">Xanax</a> (<a href="/basic-facts-1-electric-shock-sensations/">electrical sensations</a> were beginning to stir behind my eyes). It took a couple hours to do the work, then I had soup and a bun from doughnut shop. By the time I got home about an hour or so later, I felt good. Not nearly as lousy as I&#8217;ve been feeling for the past few weeks, on-and-off suicidal and all that.</p>
<p>This wanting to live stuff is tricky business.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://paxilfree.org/day-53-feeling-better/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Anger and Feeling Terrified (Day 41)</title>
		<link>http://paxilfree.org/anger-and-feeling-terrified-day-41/</link>
		<comments>http://paxilfree.org/anger-and-feeling-terrified-day-41/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 19 Sep 2006 00:14:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Anger - Irritability - Frustration]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Depersonalization - Disassociation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Digestive problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Emotional sensitivity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Headaches - Muscle tension - Body aches]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[My withdrawal (Part 2: Weaning)]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Nausea]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relapse (so-called)]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sleep - Insomnia]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Suicidal feelings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Verbal / Cognitive difficulties - Concentration]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Vitamin supplements and herbal remedies]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://paxilfree.org/2006/09/18/anger-and-feeling-terrified-day-41/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Tuesday, October 17th, 2000.
Angela wrote [on a forum similar to paxil progress.org/forums]:
It has been three weeks since I have been off of Paxil. I&#8217;m terrified.
Every now and then I feel some withdrawal symptoms, nausea, severe headaches and total lack of focus and concentration. But what scares me most is the way my mind is working.
I [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong>Tuesday, October 17th, 2000.</strong></p>
<p><strong>Angela wrote</strong> [on a forum similar to <a href="http://paxilprogress.org/forums/">paxil progress.org/forums</a>]:</p>
<blockquote><p>It has been three weeks since I have been off of Paxil. I&#8217;m terrified.</p>
<p>Every now and then I feel some withdrawal symptoms, nausea, severe headaches and total lack of focus and concentration. But what scares me most is the way my mind is working.</p>
<p>I have been so angry lately, I lash out at my friends, I already lost one, and almost lost my best friend because of the horrible things I was saying. I just spoke to my boyfriend, and hung up feeling terrible, because I keep having mood swings. One second I want to hurt someone, I want to punch, kick scream, anything &#8212; the next, I am sorry for feeling this way, and sorry for acting the way I do. Is this a result of a chemical imbalance created by the Paxil? Wow. I wonder if the chemistry of my brain is going to remain in this &#8220;schizophrenic&#8221; trance.</p>
<p>While I am no longer feeling depressed, I feel trapped. Like I&#8217;m in a jail, and I want to break through the walls that surround me. I want to kill myself because I am afraid of what I might do, who I might hurt, that I am a truly horrible person and that I do not deserve to live. I don&#8217;t know what to do, or think, or say.</p></blockquote>
<p><strong>Susan wrote:</strong></p>
<blockquote><p>  My advice is not to be alone too much, and not to let your thoughts dwell on dying. You are not a terrible person &#8212; keep reminding yourself what you are going through, that it&#8217;s the Paxil withdrawal, not you.</p>
<p>I haven&#8217;t quit yet &#8212; I just lowered my dose from 10mg to 5mg every other day. About a month ago, I lowered my dose to 10mg and I noticed the ANGER more than anything. I don&#8217;t think I have any more anger inside me than the average person, and possibly less, but I felt furious for about a week or two. And I noticed that the worst seemed to be that time before my period. (The Paxil may have been buffering my emotions during that time.)</p>
<p>My boyfriend was over one evening, not feeling well himself, and said something that I normally could have handled, and I slammed the door behind him when he left. We tried to talk a few days later, but it didn&#8217;t go well &#8212; then we didn&#8217;t talk for nearly two weeks, but are now back on track.</p>
<p>My point is, I&#8217;m sure the change in my neurochemistry had a lot to do with it. I was so upset one evening, I got into the word processor on my computer and wrote down, &#8220;I am angry&#8230;&#8221; and then a list of all I was angry about. I came up with 23 things, and intended to come back to it. And a lot of the things were not concrete things that had been done or said, but my perceptions about what others thought about me, and the INJUSTICE of it all! I really felt vulnerable. (I am a little nervous about this upcoming week of my cycle.)</p>
<p>Please be kind to yourself, even if you are having a hard time feeling kindly towards others right now. If you had a daughter and she were experiencing what you are experiencing, how would you want her to think about herself? Try to be a kind parent to yourself. Take care.
</p></blockquote>
<p><strong>My response:</strong></p>
<p>Experiencing irritability problems? Kind of feeling like killing someone else or killing yourself? At this moment in time, I think I can relate&#8230;</p>
<p>The number one thing to do right now is not kill yourself. I&#8217;ve been weaning myself off Paxil for 41 days now (I&#8217;m almost down to 5mg), and that&#8217;s 41 days of my life not being mine. I&#8217;ve been smiling patiently the whole time, but I am so sick of it that I am ready blow, I am ready to lash out, and I have days where it seems that the most reasonable thing to do would be to kill myself. The clarity of this thought when it&#8217;s there is &#8212; how do I describe it? Talk about a mind trip. The only thing that keeps me going is the knowledge that everything I&#8217;m experiencing is being caused by the Paxil withdrawal, and that eventually the withdrawal itself will withdraw. I don&#8217;t know when, but for now I know that what I&#8217;m feeling isn&#8217;t my fault, and that I&#8217;m not crazy.</p>
<p>At the same time, while I know that I&#8217;ll be enduring this for some time to come (and I hate it that my life isn&#8217;t mine while this is happening, that I can&#8217;t even begin to live my life the way want to while this junk is making me into a zombie) &#8212; at the same time I know what I have to look forward to (it&#8217;s going to get worse before it gets better). On top of the frustration I naturally feel from having my life made unproductive, uncreative and useless by this wonderful little pill, I&#8217;m beginning to experience the irritability that comes from withdrawal &#8212; and it&#8217;s the kind of irritability where I don&#8217;t even want to look at some people, I don&#8217;t want them to look at me, I don&#8217;t want to listen to them open their mouth and say something stupid that I don&#8217;t have the energy for. I have become one big ball of sunshine. I have moments where I feel I could grab some people by the head and break their neck, or just punch them in the face and knock them unconscious so I won&#8217;t have to deal with them.</p>
<p>Kinda scary, isn&#8217;t it? Everybody thinks I&#8217;m handling this situation with ease. They don&#8217;t know the half of it. If it&#8217;s disturbing to read what I&#8217;m saying here, it&#8217;s a hell of a lot more disturbing being the one living it, believe me.</p>
<p>Right now I would like to live in a log cabin in the woods and be left alone. Not so that I can go off by myself and blow my brains out, but because I know that the more people I have to deal with everyday (especially stupid people, as well meaning as they may be), the more likely I am to punch somebody in the face or tell them to f*** off&#8230;</p>
<p>Well aware that this is where I am right now, I do everything I can to avoid people. This isn&#8217;t anti-social; at the moment it&#8217;s just a matter of survival. I would like to lock myself away until the worst of this is over with. Goddam Paxil.</p>
<p>But the point is, you&#8217;re not alone with the mood swings, with the extreme surges of anger, etc. &#8212; and after everything you&#8217;ve been through because of our little friend, Paxil, who the hell wouldn&#8217;t be? I&#8217;m ready to commit violence on some people because they have no idea how debilitating this experience has been &#8212; they have no idea what a challenge it has been for me to maintain my civility throughout all this.</p>
<p>I haven&#8217;t lost any friends yet, mainly because I&#8217;m staying clear of everyone as much as possible. I think most of us going through this have experienced some kind of personal loss due to the Paxil withdrawal. That&#8217;s doesn&#8217;t include the loss of the quality of our lives while we&#8217;re being put through this shit, the loss of our living. Regardless of the physiological effects of Paxil withdrawal (which are extremely unpleasant and often debilitating), the psychological effects aren&#8217;t exactly a walk in the park either. Let&#8217;s not forget this.</p>
<p>My own personal prediction of how my withdrawal will go is that all the feelings I would have normally experienced while I was taking the Paxil but were numbed out by the Paxil &#8212; every single one of them is going to come back with a vengeance. It doesn&#8217;t mean a relapse into a depression or anxiety; it means that all the feelings that the Paxil didn&#8217;t allow me to feel are going to be felt now. So regardless of the physical symptoms of withdrawal, of living without Paxil, the psychological experience itself will be a motherload. When I get off the Paxil, I don&#8217;t expect to bounce back to my good old self right away. It&#8217;s going to take time. That&#8217;s just a theory, my own speculations based on my previous experience of cold turkey withdrawal.</p>
<p>This Paxil withdrawal experience has affected everything in my life since it first happened in early July. I&#8217;ve been living a useless life ever since. That&#8217;s how it feels anyway. And now that I&#8217;m almost down to 5mg, I&#8217;ve got the mood swings, the sudden burst of anger, irritability on a level which is off the scale, insomnia, occasional suicidal feelings, dizziness, gastric disturbances (to put it kindly) &#8212; the works. The only thing that keeps me going right now is that I know it isn&#8217;t going to last. I don&#8217;t know how long it will last, but I know it will pass as long as I do everything in the meantime to keep myself healthy (vitamin supplements, exercise, staying away from annoying stupid people, etc.).</p>
<p>The other thing I&#8217;ve had to do recently is to tell the people who know that I&#8217;m going through withdrawal that I have reached the stage where I am extremely irritable and that they shouldn&#8217;t take my unfriendliness personally, and that the best thing they can do is to not push themselves on me. It other words, I&#8217;ve politely told them to get out of my face. While I&#8217;m going through the irritability stage, something as simple as that has made a difference.</p>
<p><strong>First response:</strong></p>
<blockquote><p>Reading your message is like reliving my own nightmare. You have so very eloquently expressed feelings what I and many others have had as we journeyed through our withdrawals. I still have a lot of anger over the experience, but in our society you&#8217;ve got to be careful who you express those feelings to! You&#8217;ve done so much for us on this board in letting us know that our experiences weren&#8217;t out of the ordinary or unique &#8212; unless you&#8217;ve taken Paxil.</p>
<p>THANK YOU for sharing. It really means a lot to me to know that others have felt similar emotions.
</p></blockquote>
<p><strong>Second response:</strong></p>
<blockquote><p>Thanks for being so candid and sharing your story. I&#8217;m gonna risk getting my neck broken here, but the rush of emotions that you will feel again when you complete withdrawal may not be as bad as you&#8217;re expecting. I&#8217;ve been reading posts here since July 2nd, and I&#8217;ve never read any that make it sound hard to deal with. On the contrary, most have said that it felt great to be able to cry again, etc. Tapering can be rough and the days after your final dose may be rough, but at that point, you know that the end is in sight. Your anger should subside. Hang in there, you&#8217;re probably in the worst of it right now. When you&#8217;re out of this, I hope you can spread the word about what Paxil did to you and prevent others from suffering. I sure have sympathy for you. Let us know how you&#8217;re doing.
</p></blockquote>
<p><strong>Third response:</strong></p>
<blockquote><p>Thank you for your post. I felt myself choking up reading it and reliving the experiences you have described.</p>
<p>I, too, have been down that road. I have never been prone to angry outbursts, so it was really hard for me. I have felt so much shame for acting the way I have toward family (strangely I didn&#8217;t feel anger toward others). Many times they would just look at me &#8220;stunned&#8221; at what they were hearing come from little ole docile me! My rage was mostly ranting and raving. Thank God I didn&#8217;t feel suicidal or want to physically hurt anyone. My words were bad enough and I am sure they caused pain to others.</p>
<p>I have been off Paxil for 6 weeks after taking it for 6 years and can tell you that it will get better. My anger lasted for 2 weeks past my last pill and then went away. Some days it wasn&#8217;t too bad and others&#8230; well&#8230; let&#8217;s just say I wasn&#8217;t too much fun to be around.</p>
<p>I started taking <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/St_John%27s_wort">St. Johns Wort</a> about 3 weeks after my last Paxil and just quit taking it a week ago. I have been going through the anger period again just in the last week. I really think and hope it is from discontinuing St. Johns Wort. I am hopeful that I will get past this last bump too.</p></blockquote>
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://paxilfree.org/anger-and-feeling-terrified-day-41/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Day 13 of Weaning</title>
		<link>http://paxilfree.org/day-13-of-weaning/</link>
		<comments>http://paxilfree.org/day-13-of-weaning/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 09 Sep 2006 13:49:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Cold turkey]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dizziness - Vertigo]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Doctors]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Fatigue - Sleepiness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Headaches - Muscle tension - Body aches]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[My withdrawal (Part 2: Weaning)]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sleep - Insomnia]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Vitamin supplements and herbal remedies]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://paxilfree.org/2006/09/09/day-13-of-weaning/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Monday, September 18th, 2000.
Today is my 13th day of weaning off Paxil. One week of alternating between 20mg and 15mg, then one week of just 15mg. I&#8217;m beginning to think I should have alternated for more than a week. I was going to begin alternating between 15mg and 10mg this Wednesday, but I&#8217;m having second [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong>Monday, September 18th, 2000.</strong></p>
<p>Today is my 13th day of weaning off Paxil. One week of alternating between 20mg and 15mg, then one week of just 15mg. I&#8217;m beginning to think I should have alternated for more than a week. I was going to begin alternating between 15mg and 10mg this Wednesday, but I&#8217;m having second thoughts; I may wait a little longer.</p>
<p>I&#8217;ve been having headaches for the past few days, I was extremely tired one day, and when I stand up fast I get dizzy. It&#8217;s a regular dizziness that doesn&#8217;t even compare to the dizziness of cold turkey withdrawal. My spirits aren&#8217;t nearly as positive as they were during the first week of weaning.</p>
<p>But what I&#8217;m feeling right now feels like a precursor to more severe symptoms. It feels like the worse is about to come. And I&#8217;ve begun to feel a little uneasy again, a little worried. I have a feeling the &#8220;<a href="/7-emotional-sensitivity">weepiness</a>&#8221; is going to hit me soon. And I hate this not having control of my life. Again, what I&#8217;m experiencing now is nothing compared to my cold turkey withdrawal from a few months ago, but that doesn&#8217;t give me much comfort.<br />
<span id="more-47"></span></p>
<p>Anyhow, today I went to my new doctor, and I&#8217;m beginning to feel like I&#8217;d rather see someone who&#8217;s more sympathetic than him. Everything is too &#8220;interesting&#8221; to him, and his insights are minimal. I think he&#8217;s more experienced in treating people with more severe problems than mine, like my situation is too ordinary for him. When I asked him if there&#8217;s anything specific I can take for dizziness or headaches if they get worse, he said, &#8220;Not that I know of.&#8221; Great. Thanks for the help.</p>
<p>He did tell me, though, not to stand up quickly; standing up too fast is likely to cause a head-rush and dizziness. To combat dizziness, he said to make sure to drink plenty of water, which I already do anyway.</p>
<p>When I got back home from my appointment with him this afternoon, I laid down for a second and that second turned into two and a half hours of more-or-less unconsciousness. It&#8217;s not the first time I fell asleep during the day this past week. But now it&#8217;s becoming more pronounced. I&#8217;ve also been having difficulty going to sleep at night, so that probably doesn&#8217;t help.</p>
<p>I know this is nothing compared to cold turkey withdrawal, but I&#8217;m getting worried. My energy is too low. So I have to get my energy up, because I know that when my energy is low, emotionally I&#8217;m more likely to feel less in control.</p>
<p>Right now I&#8217;m taking <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thiamine">B1</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Riboflavin">B2</a>, and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vitamin_B6">B6</a> at 50mg each, plus 50mcg of B12, and about 50mg of all the Bs. Can anyone who has taken <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/B_vitamins">B-complex</a> for withdrawal tell me what dosages work for them? I&#8217;m thinking of at least doubling my dosage. I know not to exceed more than 150mg of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pantothenic_acid">B5</a>, but recommended doses of B12, for instance, are 600mg daily &#8212; that&#8217;s ten times more than what I&#8217;m taking now. I&#8217;m making a few more adjustments to my diet, but I&#8217;m seriously considering upping my B-complex intake and would appreciate any suggestions.</p>
<p>Thanks.</p>
<p><em>Postscript (June 10, 2010): I&#8217;m not sure if I mentioned this before, but I was staying with my parents at this time at their house way out in the country. My mother had no problem letting me stay with them while I was going through my withdrawal, but my father didn&#8217;t really see what was wrong with me. So I didn&#8217;t talk to my parents much about what I was going through on a daily basis. It was a somewhat socially isolated circumstance. I&#8217;m not sure if having more sympathetic people around would have made a difference. I felt disconnected from everything anyway. Just saying hello in the morning took a lot out of me back then. So I don&#8217;t know.</em></p>
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://paxilfree.org/day-13-of-weaning/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Sleeping</title>
		<link>http://paxilfree.org/sleeping/</link>
		<comments>http://paxilfree.org/sleeping/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 08 Sep 2006 17:49:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Cold turkey]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[My withdrawal (Part 1: Cold turkey)]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sleep - Insomnia]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Suicidal feelings]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://paxilfree.org/2006/09/08/sleeping/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Friday, July 21st, 2000.
In my previous posts I mentioned that I&#8217;ve been back on Paxil for about a week or so after the hell of going cold turkey, and that, although I&#8217;m feeling better than I was during the withdrawal, I was feeling depressed occasionally in a I-don&#8217;t-want-to-live sort of way. I&#8217;ve been doing my [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong>Friday, July 21st, 2000.</strong></p>
<p>In my previous posts I mentioned that I&#8217;ve been back on Paxil for about a week or so after the hell of going cold turkey, and that, although I&#8217;m feeling better than I was during the withdrawal, I was feeling depressed occasionally in a I-don&#8217;t-want-to-live sort of way. I&#8217;ve been doing my best to walk it off, so to speak, but last night I made an effort to go to bed early and not stay up late as is my tendency.</p>
<p>It made a difference. I slept all night and woke up feeling more myself. I&#8217;m not feeling depressed; I can usually tell the second I wake up whether I&#8217;m feeling depressed or not and whether I&#8217;m going to feel depressed or not. And right now I feel good.</p>
<p>I read that during deep sleep, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serotonin">serotonin</a> production increases. So I didn&#8217;t have to take a pill; I just had to get some good, natural, unmedicated sleep. It did the trick. I&#8217;m not going to begin weaning myself of the Paxil just yet, but I wanted to mention that a good night&#8217;s sleep can make a big difference (for those of you who stay up late and wonder why you&#8217;re feeling depressed). I&#8217;m going to do more research on this.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://paxilfree.org/sleeping/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Time Wasted</title>
		<link>http://paxilfree.org/time-wasted/</link>
		<comments>http://paxilfree.org/time-wasted/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 08 Sep 2006 17:44:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Cold turkey]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Doctors]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Fatigue - Sleepiness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[My withdrawal (Part 1: Cold turkey)]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sleep - Insomnia]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://paxilfree.org/2006/09/08/time-wasted/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Thursday, July 13th, 2000.
Okay, today is my 6th day back on Paxil after my attempt going cold turkey. I still plan to wean myself off it, but not yet.
After going back on the Paxil, all the withdrawal effects disappeared &#8212; to be replaced by sleepiness. And then on the 4th day, I felt a tiny [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong>Thursday, July 13th, 2000.</strong></p>
<p>Okay, today is my 6th day back on Paxil after my attempt going cold turkey. I still plan to wean myself off it, but not yet.</p>
<p>After going back on the Paxil, all the withdrawal effects disappeared &#8212; to be replaced by sleepiness. And then on the 4th day, I felt a tiny bit depressed and still sleepy. On the 5th day, I didn&#8217;t feel sleepy, but I felt definitely depressed. And today, the 6th day back on the Paxil, I just woke up and I&#8217;m not feeling the depression I felt yesterday (at least not yet; I just woke up 30 minutes ago).</p>
<p>So judging from the first day I went off the Paxil cold turkey (as my doctor ordered), up until today, about two weeks of my life were pretty much a write-off. That&#8217;s how much of my time this crap wasted.</p>
<p>But I&#8217;m trying not to dwell on that, because that&#8217;s depressing. I&#8217;m certainly not happy any of this happened.</p>
<p>I have noticed, though, that I feel considerably better after I&#8217;ve eaten a good meal. And I&#8217;m learning what better food to put into my body to give me more energy, which usually translates into more positive mental energy.</p>
<blockquote><p><em>Postscript &#8211; February 26th, 2001:</em> Here I am grieving over two weeks of my life which were stolen from me because of my initial withdrawal experience. Considering that the worst of the withdrawal would stay with me for about another seven months, it&#8217;s no wonder that my perception of time became distorted.</p></blockquote>
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://paxilfree.org/time-wasted/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>So-called Relapse</title>
		<link>http://paxilfree.org/so-called-relapse/</link>
		<comments>http://paxilfree.org/so-called-relapse/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 08 Sep 2006 17:43:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Cold turkey]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Doctors]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Emotional sensitivity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Fatigue - Sleepiness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Headaches - Muscle tension - Body aches]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[My withdrawal (Part 1: Cold turkey)]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relapse (so-called)]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sleep - Insomnia]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://paxilfree.org/2006/09/08/so-called-relapse/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Wednesday, July 12th, 2000 (continued).
This is still my 5th day back on the Paxil after trying to cold turkey. I&#8217;m taking 20mg, my regular dose, but if you can believe it, I&#8217;m considering increasing it.
Before I went off the Paxil cold turkey as my doctor ordered, I was feeling fine. Happy, functional, smiling joe. Now [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong>Wednesday, July 12th, 2000 (continued).</strong></p>
<p>This is still my 5th day back on the Paxil after trying to cold turkey. I&#8217;m taking 20mg, my regular dose, but if you can believe it, I&#8217;m considering increasing it.</p>
<p>Before I went off the Paxil cold turkey as my doctor ordered, I was feeling fine. Happy, functional, smiling joe. Now my 5th day back on Paxil after my terrible cold turkey withdrawal experience, all of my withdrawal symptoms have long gone, and the headaches and the sleepiness I experienced when I first got back on the Paxil have also disappeared.</p>
<p>All I&#8217;m left with now is feeling depressed. My body feels fine, but emotionally I&#8217;m feeling depressed and easily saddened.</p>
<p>I plan to wean myself off the Paxil, but I need to feel not depressed before I do that. Right now &#8212; or at least today &#8212; I don&#8217;t have the guts to do anything. And I&#8217;m not used to feeling like this. It&#8217;s not overwhelming yet, but it is interfering with my ability to do what I want to do; that irrational, underlying fear is there. I&#8217;m fine when I do talk to people, but I&#8217;m not feeling as brave and easy-going as I was before.</p>
<p>I don&#8217;t want to increase my dosage. I&#8217;m trying to eat well, trying to get outside, trying to be positive, but I don&#8217;t feel like any of it. I&#8217;m hoping this will pass. I&#8217;m hoping I don&#8217;t have to increase the Paxil.</p>
<p>I&#8217;ll be making a doctor&#8217;s appointment today, but does anyone whose been through this having any suggestions? (I hate this shit!)</p>
<p><em>P.S. (Sept. 2006): That&#8217;s the vicious cycle of Paxil. You take it because you feel depressed or you&#8217;re axious in social situations. But once you stop taking it, whatever depression or social anxiety you experienced before doesn&#8217;t just come back &#8212; it comes back with a vengence. Some call this relapse, but how do you relapse into a condition that is worse than what you started with? This is one of the many ways paroxetine messes with your nervous system. Paroxetine may not be considered officially an addictive drug, but I&#8217;ve heard from heroin addicts who had an easier time going clean. (See also the Wikipedia entry for <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SSRI_discontinuation_syndrome">SSRI discontinuation syndrome</a> and paxilprogress.org&#8217;s <a href="http://www.paxilprogress.org/forums/showthread.php?t=13843">Published Withdrawal Studies</a>.)</em></p>
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://paxilfree.org/so-called-relapse/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>5th Day Back on Paxil</title>
		<link>http://paxilfree.org/5th-day-back-on-paxil/</link>
		<comments>http://paxilfree.org/5th-day-back-on-paxil/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 08 Sep 2006 17:43:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Cold turkey]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[My withdrawal (Part 1: Cold turkey)]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Panic attacks - Social anxiety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sleep - Insomnia]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://paxilfree.org/2006/09/08/5th-day-back-on-paxil/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Wednesday, July 12th, 2000 (continued).
Today is my 5th day back on Paxil after going through cold turkey withdrawal.
I felt tired yesterday and a little depressed, and then around 10:00pm I seemed to get a second wind (after eating a large supper). But it also left me wide awake and I couldn&#8217;t go to sleep, not [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong>Wednesday, July 12th, 2000 (continued).</strong></p>
<p>Today is my 5th day back on Paxil after going through cold turkey withdrawal.</p>
<p>I felt tired yesterday and a little depressed, and then around 10:00pm I seemed to get a second wind (after eating a large supper). But it also left me wide awake and I couldn&#8217;t go to sleep, not until about 1:30 in the morning.</p>
<p>I woke up this morning feeling depressed. My dreams seem to have a strong effect on my moods. I&#8217;ve never been a morning person, but I hate waking up feeling like I don&#8217;t want to get out of bed.</p>
<p>I&#8217;m tried to have a good breakfast and put good things into my body (I&#8217;m learning more about proper nutrition). Before my going cold turkey, I was feeling really good. No depression at all, positive spirits, no &#8220;social anxiety,&#8221; no fear underlining my actions. Now, having gone through the hell of withdrawal and then going back on the Paxil at my regular dose, all of those things have been affected.  &#8212; And I&#8217;m am dying for a coffee and a cigarette (but saying no to both).</p>
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://paxilfree.org/5th-day-back-on-paxil/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>4th Day Back on Paxil</title>
		<link>http://paxilfree.org/4th-day-back-on-paxil/</link>
		<comments>http://paxilfree.org/4th-day-back-on-paxil/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 08 Sep 2006 17:39:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Fatigue - Sleepiness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[My withdrawal (Part 1: Cold turkey)]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sleep - Insomnia]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Vitamin supplements and herbal remedies]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://paxilfree.org/2006/09/08/4th-day-back-on-paxil/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Tuesday, July 11th, 2000 (continued).
Today&#8217;s my 4th day back on the Paxil and all of my withdrawal symptoms are gone completely.
I&#8217;ve been writing a lot. I don&#8217;t know what that means, but I&#8217;m not complaining because I love writing. I&#8217;m still feeling tired like I could use a cup of coffee every half hour &#8212; [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong>Tuesday, July 11th, 2000 (continued).</strong></p>
<p>Today&#8217;s my 4th day back on the Paxil and all of my withdrawal symptoms are gone completely.</p>
<p>I&#8217;ve been writing a lot. I don&#8217;t know what that means, but I&#8217;m not complaining because I love writing. I&#8217;m still feeling tired like I could use a cup of coffee every half hour &#8212; but I&#8217;m not drinking any caffeine or anything at all that I could experience withdrawal from; I&#8217;ve been on that boat and I&#8217;m never jumping back on, I don&#8217;t care how big or small it is.</p>
<p>I feel somewhat depressed (or maybe I&#8217;m just still upset and shaken from the trauma of the withdrawal), but I&#8217;m going to get moving today regardless.</p>
<p>I&#8217;ve had to fight off the sleepiness I&#8217;ve experienced since going back on the Paxil (with &#8212; never forget &#8212; the intention of weaning myself off it once things have settled back to normal). I had to fight off the sleepiness during the day so I&#8217;d be tired at night and get my rhythms back on track. It seems to be working.<br />
<span id="more-32"></span></p>
<p>I&#8217;m still sleeping-in about two hours longer than I&#8217;d like, but things are getting better.</p>
<blockquote><p><em>Postscript &#8211; February 3rd, 2001:</em> I mentioned in this post and a previous post that I would never again drink coffee or anything that could cause withdrawal &#8212; and I&#8217;ve stuck to it. In December 2000, I did have one extremely bad week where I bought a pack of cigarettes and smoked them all in about two days flat, but except for that, I haven&#8217;t smoked dope or any kind of cigarette, I haven&#8217;t had coffee or tea or caffeine of any kind except for an occasional Coke, and I&#8217;ve completely lost my taste for alcohol. It was one hell of an adjustment to make, but I haven&#8217;t a doubt that I&#8217;m healthier now and better off for it.
<div></div>
</blockquote>
<p><em>P.S. (Sept. 2006): Well, it was nice while it lasted. I don&#8217;t smoke cigarettes anymore, but I do drink coffee every day, and I do have a beer every now and then. For a while after I got off the Paxil, I removed processed sugar, caffeine and alcohol from my diet, and I took vitamin supplements. If it&#8217;s a lifestyle you can stick with, good for you. A good deal of what makes people feel depressed is related to lifestyle &#8212; what we do every day, what we eat every day. Changing how you live life isn&#8217;t something most of us do easily. Eventually I stopped taking vitamin supplements and didn&#8217;t notice any ill-effects. I try to get 6-8 hours of sleep every night, I eat well and exercise whenever I can, and I&#8217;m feeling pretty good. After I got off the Paxil, my system was super sensitive to everything. When I ate junk food, I felt like crap. When I ate healthy food, I felt better. It was that simple.<br />
</em></p>
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://paxilfree.org/4th-day-back-on-paxil/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>My Immune System / Back on Paxil</title>
		<link>http://paxilfree.org/my-immune-system-back-on-paxil/</link>
		<comments>http://paxilfree.org/my-immune-system-back-on-paxil/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 08 Sep 2006 17:37:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Cold turkey]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Doctors]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Immune System - The Paxil Flu]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[My withdrawal (Part 1: Cold turkey)]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sleep - Insomnia]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://paxilfree.org/2006/09/08/my-immune-system-back-on-paxil/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Monday, July 10th, 2000.
Today is my 3rd day back on Paxil after going through the hell of cold turkey withdrawal by my doctor&#8217;s orders (my plan now, of course, is to wean myself off it slowly). The electrical surges in my brain immediately disappeared &#8212; and that&#8217;s the only thing I care about &#8212; and [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong>Monday, July 10th, 2000.</strong></p>
<p>Today is my 3rd day back on Paxil after going through the hell of cold turkey withdrawal by my doctor&#8217;s orders (my plan now, of course, is to wean myself off it slowly). The <a href="/basic-facts-1-electric-shock-sensations/">electrical surges</a> in my brain immediately disappeared &#8212; and that&#8217;s the only thing I care about &#8212; and I&#8217;ve been feeling sleepy with a slight headache ever since. I&#8217;m sleeping like a dog, although the timing is still a little bit off (I&#8217;m working on that).</p>
<p>Also, my immune system is back to normal. I didn&#8217;t realize it at the time, but my immune system went right down the toilet the second I went off the Paxil cold turkey. I had a slight sore throat at the time, which, along with the inside of my mouth, immediately became inflamed and incredibly sore. One side of my gums were swollen and painful and my throat was killing me the whole time.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s my 3rd day back on the Paxil and most of that has cleared up on its own.</p>
<p>Did anybody else experience flu symptoms while they were trying to get off the Paxil?</p>
<blockquote><p><em>Postscript &#8211; February 3rd, 2001: </em>The answer to my question, <em>Did anybody else experience flu symptoms while they were trying to get off the Paxil?</em>, was of course YES. I lost count how many people said YES. I experienced then what those who have lived through paroxetine withdrawal call <a href="/2-the-paxil-flu/">The Paxil Flu</a>. It&#8217;s more than a bad case of the flu. It&#8217;s closer to a total breakdown of the immune system. Before I began to wean myself off the Paxil, I started to take daily vitamin supplements, B-Complex especially. That, along with as much regular exercise as I could manage, helped keep me healthy for the duration of my withdrawal (which lasted close to seven months).</p></blockquote>
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://paxilfree.org/my-immune-system-back-on-paxil/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
	</channel>
</rss>
