Paxil Free

Along with a support group such as paxilprogress.org, I can’t think of anything more valuable for someone living through paroxetine withdrawal than to read exactly how someone else survived it.

While it’s true that there isn’t a whole lot of fun to be had for someone living through the effects of Paxil withdrawal, the important thing to remember is that you can survive it. That may not sound like much right now, but I have done it and so have many others who had it worse than me. If there’s one thing to learn from the record and testimony on this site, perhaps it’s how to smooth out some of the bumps in the road ahead so that when the worst of it comes at you, it doesn’t knock you so far down that you can never get up again. It can be overcome. As unbearable as it may seem at times, it will eventually go away, and you’ll be all right.

Okay, maybe not all right, but I’m pretty sure you’ll feel at least a thousand times better.

Paxil Free was a journal of my Paxil withdrawal experience that I posted several years ago (read the first post, Here We Go, for more details). The site was up for a few years and then I took it down. I re-posted the journal to this blog in September 2006 with some slight changes.

The content is relatively the same, but the method of accessing the information through this blog is a great improvement over the original site. Here’s how it works now:

The oldest post is at the top of the page, and the most post recent shows up at the end. So you can read this blog like a book, from top to bottom.

But you can access the information in any order you like. There are three methods:

1) In the right-side menu under CATEGORIES, simply click whatever topic interests you, and every post that deals with that topic will be displayed. For instance, if you’re curious about everyone’s favourite topic, sexual dysfunction, just click the Sexual dysfunction category and every post that deals with that topic will be displayed.

NOTE: The posts are categorized, but they’re also divided into five sections that encompass all the posts chronolocially. They appear in the CATEGORIES list under My withdrawal:

Introduction
Part 1: Cold turkey
Part 2: Weaning
Part 3: Off Paxil
Part 4: Post-withdrawal.

2) In the right-side menu under SEARCH THIS SITE, simply type in what you’re looking for (if it’s not listed under the Categories heading) and click the GO button. Then every post with that word or phrase will be displayed. If for instance you’re concerned about what kind of food to eat while going through Paxil withdrawal, you can enter the word “diet” and every post with the word “diet” will be displayed, and the word “diet” will be highlighted wherever it occurs.

3) The title of every single post is listed in the right-side menu under PAGES. Simply click whichever one you want to read.

There is also a « Previous | Next » feature at the end of each post that allows you to back up to the previous post or move on to the next one, so you can start in the middle if you like and then continue to read the rest of it in order.

Paxil Free is not intended and should not serve as a replacement for qualified medical care.

One more thing: I don’t keep up with the latest news on SSRIs and anti-depressants. I wrote Paxil Free in 2001, revised it about 5 years later, and that’s it. The descriptions of the withdrawal effects are accurate, but you won’t find the latest information about Paxil on this web site. Check out a place like paxilprogress.org instead.

Comments can be made through the Message Board.

Wednesday, October 18th, 2000. Responding to something, though I don’t remember what:

Paxil should be an absolute last resort. Communicative therapy (a.k.a. talking) should be tried first. Then there are dietary changes that can make a difference to all kinds of anxiety. You can take vitamin supplements like B-complex to begin with. If you drink caffeine, stop now. Alcohol and cigarettes don’t help with anxiety either (but if you smoke, don’t try quitting while you’re trying to quit something else; trying to quit two things at once will wreck anyone). Making sure to get daily moderate exercise can make a difference. Try a herbal remedy. Listen to good music. Breathe fresh air. Get out in the sunshine.

Speaking from experience, these are basic things that can make a huge difference.

But it’s easier to pop a little pink pill than it is to actually make any real effort to take care of oneself (hence, we have close to two billion dollars in sales of Paxil last year).

It’s easier to take a pill than it is to actually face the fears underlying the social anxiety.

No offense to anyone suffering from panic disorder, but “social anxiety” sound like another made-up term by drug companies. I’ve been shy my whole life. I know what it’s like to be anxious around people and or large crowds. But that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with me. I consider it a natural reaction to the madness of crowds.
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Sunday, October 8th, 2000.

Today’s my 32nd day of weaning. Still levelled off at 10mg.

Two days ago I was feeling like a zombie. But since then, things have been different. The next day, just before I went to bed, I began to feel better. And all day today I’ve been feeling almost normal. (It feels almost abnormal to feel normal again. Weird.)

About an hour ago I began to feel a bit of a headache, and that’s the only possible symptom of withdrawal I’ve experienced today. I haven’t felt dizzy or off balance or any of the usual things. I think the withdrawal is still happening, but it’s amazing how when you’ve experienced the worst of it (i.e., cold turkey withdrawal), the degree of the withdrawal can be measured down to the slightest fraction. Anyone notice that? If cold turkey withdrawal (namely the brain zaps) is a 10 in severity, then what I’ve experienced today is a 1, maybe a 2. It’s what we who have lived through this junk call a Good Day.

In terms of my diet and exercise and the usual things I do to keep the electrical surges at bay, I haven’t done anything different in the past two days. Perhaps it was just my body and brain finally adjusting to the 10mg level.

But I have another theory. It’s more of a curiosity, I suppose. Not much of a theory, but it’s something I’ve noticed a few times since I began the weaning process. Until now I just didn’t think it was plausible. But who knows. This is what happened:
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Tuesday, September 25th, 2000 (continued). In response to a post from a Paxil-withdrawal forum:

According to what I’ve been reading, if you took at least 20mg of Paxil for more than 4 months, then it will take you at least two months to wean yourself to zero without experiencing any major withdrawal symptoms.

I know that everyone is different, and I’ve read of people who managed to go from 20mg to zero is less then a month. Whippee for them, but I’m more inclined to think that that’s the exception, not the rule.

The rule is: GO SLOW. Everyone, it seems, who does not wean slowly, usually experiences more severe and prolonged withdrawal symptoms.

I don’t think you’re going crazy. You just may have gone off the Paxil too fast. And you may have to go back to a comfortable dose and then gradually wean yourself off the Paxil — slowly.
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Monday, September 18th, 2000.

Today is my 13th day of weaning off Paxil. One week of alternating between 20mg and 15mg, then one week of just 15mg. I’m beginning to think I should have alternated for more than a week. I was going to begin alternating between 15mg and 10mg this Wednesday, but I’m having second thoughts; I may wait a little longer.

I’ve been having headaches for the past few days, I was extremely tired one day, and when I stand up fast I get dizzy. It’s a regular dizziness that doesn’t even compare to the dizziness of cold turkey withdrawal. My spirits aren’t nearly as positive as they were during the first week of weaning.

But what I’m feeling right now feels like a precursor to more severe symptoms. It feels like the worse is about to come. And I’ve begun to feel a little uneasy again, a little worried. I have a feeling the “weepiness” is going to hit me soon. And I hate this not having control of my life. Again, what I’m experiencing now is nothing compared to my cold turkey withdrawal from a few months ago, but that doesn’t give me much comfort.
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Tuesday, July 11th, 2000 (continued).

Today’s my 4th day back on the Paxil and all of my withdrawal symptoms are gone completely.

I’ve been writing a lot. I don’t know what that means, but I’m not complaining because I love writing. I’m still feeling tired like I could use a cup of coffee every half hour — but I’m not drinking any caffeine or anything at all that I could experience withdrawal from; I’ve been on that boat and I’m never jumping back on, I don’t care how big or small it is.

I feel somewhat depressed (or maybe I’m just still upset and shaken from the trauma of the withdrawal), but I’m going to get moving today regardless.

I’ve had to fight off the sleepiness I’ve experienced since going back on the Paxil (with — never forget — the intention of weaning myself off it once things have settled back to normal). I had to fight off the sleepiness during the day so I’d be tired at night and get my rhythms back on track. It seems to be working.
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March 11th, 2001. (Basic Facts – continued)

The Paxil Flu is also known as a complete shut-down of the immune system. It’s most likely to occur at its worst by withdrawing from Paxil cold turkey (which should NEVER be done; if your doctor told you otherwise, you need to find yourself a new doctor NOW). The Paxil Flu also occurs for some people even while they’re weaning slowly. Paroxetine withdrawal is a neurological trauma, and like any traumatic or stressful event, it can have a drain on your vitality, your health and your overall strength. Therefore, you might want to take supplements of certain vitamins which will become depleted by the stress of the withdrawal (B-complex, Vitamins C and E for starters).

Often included with the Paxil Flu are unusual ailments which doctors have no explanation for — and which, in their ignorance, they don’t connect to paroxetine withdrawal. Your doctor may perform every kind of test on you and then say, “I don’t know what’s causing it,” or the classic, “There’s nothing wrong with you” — while in the meantime you feel like you’re dying.

During my cold turkey withdrawal, besides extreme dizziness, headaches and body aches that could register on the Richter Scale, I developed growths under my tongue which were painful and would bleed at the slightest touch. Eventually I had a biopsy performed and my doctor said,”It’s normal tissue.” Great.

It seems to me that most of these medical anomalies are related to the effects of paroxetine; we just don’t how — and neither does the medical community.

The good news about the Paxil Flu is that it can be prevented through a proper use of vitamin supplements, a healthy diet (which does not include caffeine, cigarettes or alcohol) and regular exercise. It’s a simple straight-forward solution, and you’d be surprised at how well it works.

P.S., If you smoke cigarettes and you know you’re hooked, don’t try getting off them now. Caffeine you can probably wean yourself off without too much harm, but nicotine is another story.