Paxil Free

Tuesday, November 28th, 2000 (28th day off Paxil). In response to a message on paxilprogress.org:

I don’t think the paresthesia/electrical sensations in my eyes and my head are caused by anxiety and stress. I had plenty of anxiety and stress before I went on and subsequently tried to get off Paxil, and it’s NEVER felt like this. I have had tension headaches in the past, but what I’m experiencing now is something completely different altogether.

The zaps are the cause of the anxiety and stress, not the other way around.

This isn’t an argument to me. It’s a statement of fact. I tried getting off the Paxil and immediately, for the first time in my life, began experiencing the brain zaps. This is the most obvious, simple, straight forward equation. It’s a neurochemical reaction that’s happening in my brain because of this drug. If I’m feeling any anxiety, depression or stress, 95% of it is coming from this experience of trying to get off this drug.

Overall, I have been physically and mentally healthy my whole life. My doctor keeps asking me, referring to the brain zaps and the electrical heaviness in my eyes, “Are you sure you’ve never experienced anything like this before?” I’ve never taken an anti-depressant before Paxil, I’ve never “experimented” with LSD, cocaine or anything stronger than pot, and when I did, I was never a dopehead. I’ve never been an alcoholic. I don’t have a history of this sort of thing. I have no doubt that these electrical sensations in my head are caused by the Paxil.

I wasn’t feeling any stress or anxiety until I tried getting off the Paxil, and what I’m experiencing now is not due to any pre-existing condition that I know of. I may be feeling depressed, and I may be experiencing some anxiety — but my brain goes into an electrical seizure every time I move too suddenly or move my eyes too fast or have any kind of bright light shone in my face. Is not a little stress and anxiety a normal reaction to such a disturbing experience? I’d say it is. (Some people may say to this, “Get over it. ” But I’ll get over it once it stops.)

When my doctor prescribed me the Paxil, he didn’t inform me that anything like this could happen — because he didn’t know. GlaxoSmithKline knew all along but deliberately kept this information from the medical community. They deliberately misinformed everyone. Having experienced this injustice as intimately as anyone could, I find it very disturbing. If I knew someone was clearly getting away with murder, and the murder of a loved one, I might find it just as disturbing. Anyone who doesn’t recognize this as an injustice has got their head up their ass.

Under these circumstances, there’s plenty of reason to feel extreme levels of anger, frustration, depression, anxiety, and so on. The point is: I didn’t start off like this. Paxil did this to me. Paxil has taken away five months of my life (so far). I have been physically and mentally debilitated by this experience — in trying to get off this drug. I know what has happened to me. I’m not just having a string of bad days at work. Unless one genuinely does have a history of this sort of thing, I’d say it’s naïve to think that this is caused by everyday stress. No way, sister.

This is a neurological pathology brought on by Paxil withdrawal. Having electrical surges kicking in from behind my eyes is in no way caused by stress and anxiety. It’s the other way around. Speaking only for myself, I don’t have a single doubt about it.

First response:

Oh, the zaps are definitely Paxil related. I have NO doubt about that. The first time I got them was when I missed a couple of doses. I got “the flu,” but I kept telling people I’ve never had a flu bug like this that made me unable to move my head without — can’t remember what word I used at the time, but — a zap.

I have told friends who know what I am going through that a zap is like touching an electrical fence. Except, that instead of touching it with your hand, it is like the wire is touching your brain. That is where it starts, and then it goes down your back, front and down your arms and fingers. I can have one, or three in a row.

Second response:

I totally agree with you! I have had migraine headaches in the past, but these are different! Sometimes I think it is just another sinus headache, but it feels different. It’s in the eyes and there’s a vertigo feeling. The electrical impulses in the brain are misfiring. It only makes sense if you think about it.

I am still on my miserable 7.5mg a day, but I am beginning to feel (I think). Today while driving home from work I began to feel sad and I started to cry. I was thinking about some unresolved issues that were the impetus to me taking Paxil in the first place. At first I was depressed about feeling depressed, but I began to realize, “Hey… I am feeling again! This is a good sign, not a bad sign!”

Paxil is a mind controlling drug. No better way than to turn us into Zombies by shorting out our brains. Accident?… I wonder!

Thanks! You always make me think, and just at the right time. Keep the information coming. It makes me want to keep fighting! I needed that tonight!

Third response:

I feel the same about the electrical charges. They can be horrible. They make it impossible to concentrate. At times I was afraid to move my head. One day on a weekend I layed on the bed and with my eyes closed all day. Every time I would open my eyes the charges would surge. If you haven’t had them it is difficult to explain to anyone. Concentration was nil, along with moving my head.

When I mentioned this to the doctor he looked dumbfounded — he has been in practice as a psychiatric doctor for years. His reply was that he had heard of people getting them in their legs. I knew I was in trouble then.

I do not know if other SSRIs do this when withdrawing. I would have liked for him to have had experience with SSRIs first hand so he would have had a better understanding of my situation. I told him this in a very nice why. He grinned. Yeah, funny.

Half these doctors need to listen a little more to the patient and forget what the drug representative tells them over a cocktail.

Fourth response:

You’re right. The electrical charges surging through our brains are NOT stress-related. I swore that I was either being electrocuted or having a seizure. And there were times when I swore that my braining was FRYING! Taking Paxil is the worst thing I have ever done in my life. This has been three years of hell. My life will NEVER be the same.