The Paxil Window
Wednesday, December 6th, 2000 (continued). Responding to a message on paxilprogress.org:
If you’re down to 5mg and feeling really good, you may be experiencing the mysterious “Paxil window” where one’s vitality and overall sense of well-being feels about as good as it gets. It seems that for some people the window never closer; they get off the Paxil completely and things only get better. But for others it really is a window and it eventually closes.
That’s what happened to me. When I was at the dose you’ve got yourself down to (around 5mg), I was feeling really good. Specifically, I experienced a sexual rejuvenation that made me feel like I was in my teens again. No complaints there. But eventually the window closed (it was open for about two weeks) and I became completely impotent. I got worried about that, but luckily it didn’t last too long. It’s been about two weeks since things became… limp? (Whatever adjective suits you.) But within the past three or four days things have returned to normal. I don’t think they’ll ever reach the peak I experienced during my “Paxil window,” but I can at least step up to the plate again. While I was at the stage you are right now, though, I was hitting a home-run every single time. Nice.
Perhaps your window will stay open forever. Perhaps it’ll gradually close and then return to normal, as it did with me, as you continue to wean yourself off the Paxil. Whichever way the wind blows, if you got it good right now, I’d say make the most of it.
You might want to stay at 5mg until you’re ready to continue with the weaning. If you’re feeling really good right now, maybe hold on to that until after the holidays.
When I decided to go down to zero, I think I took 5mg every other day for awhile. Then I stopped altogether. Things got a little rough again at this point. On really bad days I took another 5mg, maybe once or twice. Then, still more or less at zero, I took an occasional sliver of a Paxil pill to ease my sensitivity to light and the electrical heaviness in my eyes, but I only did that once or twice over a period of a few weeks. I can’t remember how long I’ve been Paxil-free, but it’s been at least three or four weeks now, and although things still aren’t the way I’d like them, things have been getting slowly but progressively better.
I think when you decide to go down to zero, you just have to wing it. See what works for you.