Time Wasted
Thursday, July 13th, 2000.
Okay, today is my 6th day back on Paxil after my attempt going cold turkey. I still plan to wean myself off it, but not yet.
After going back on the Paxil, all the withdrawal effects disappeared — to be replaced by sleepiness. And then on the 4th day, I felt a tiny bit depressed and still sleepy. On the 5th day, I didn’t feel sleepy, but I felt definitely depressed. And today, the 6th day back on the Paxil, I just woke up and I’m not feeling the depression I felt yesterday (at least not yet; I just woke up 30 minutes ago).
So judging from the first day I went off the Paxil cold turkey (as my doctor ordered), up until today, about two weeks of my life were pretty much a write-off. That’s how much of my time this crap wasted.
But I’m trying not to dwell on that, because that’s depressing. I’m certainly not happy any of this happened.
I have noticed, though, that I feel considerably better after I’ve eaten a good meal. And I’m learning what better food to put into my body to give me more energy, which usually translates into more positive mental energy.
Postscript - February 26th, 2001: Here I am grieving over two weeks of my life which were stolen from me because of my initial withdrawal experience. Considering that the worst of the withdrawal would stay with me for about another seven months, it’s no wonder that my perception of time became distorted.